Respond, Don't react, when you're feeling defensive
You know that blame and accusations are rarely helpful, even when they make you feel a little better in the moment. If you want people to help you solve a problem, making them feel bad about themselves is as counterproductive as you can get!
But what do you do when you’re working with someone who hasn’t learned this lesson, and is
blaming and accusing you?
The first thing is to realize that you don’t have to defend yourself. You choose to.
And you probably have more options than you think: